My One Adjustment That Worked: The Way I Overcame After-Work Stress Through an Surprising Discovery in the Attic

I frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock after work. Tension grips my shoulders, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Then, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head hours after he had gone to bed.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and printed out a fingering chart. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. My inability to remember anything meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Now, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I learned that few kids play the recorder today, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I make it a habit to play each night after work before I do anything else, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.